Comic, musician, host of Chris Crofton’s Recommendation King Podcast and former Nashvillian Chris Crofton requested the Scene for an recommendation column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Recommendation King,” Crofton will share his hard-won knowledge with whosoever seeks it. Observe Crofton on Facebook and Twitter, and to submit a query for the Recommendation King, electronic mail bestofbread[at]gmail[dot]com or editor[at]nashvillescene[dot]com.
Pricey Recommendation King,
I graduated from school with a level in English literature. I am a bit involved about discovering a job that makes use of my talent set, along with with the ability to repay my in depth pupil loans. How do you assume I ought to method my future? Thanks!
—Adam in New London, Conn.
Oh no! English Lit?! Extra like English UNlit! (Fashionable folks name issues they like “lit.” Additionally they say “BRB” rather a lot — it means “be proper again.”) You higher have a wealthy uncle. No one reads anymore. They use fidget spinners. Really, I don’t assume they try this both — an excessive amount of work!
I majored in artwork historical past. I selected artwork historical past as a result of it suited my hangovers — they needed to end up the lights to point out the slides. It labored out nice although, as a result of now I’m a extremely paid museum curator. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA.
I’m a rodeo clown.
A RODEO CLOWN WHO KNOWS ABOUT THE FAUVES! *weeps*
I simply Googled “What are you able to do with an English literature diploma?” You’re in deep shit, Adam. One of many jobs they listed was “occasion planner.” Not that there’s something unsuitable with being an occasion planner — nevertheless it appears to me you is also an occasion planner with out having a level in English literature. In actual fact, in the event you go into an interview for an occasion planner place and begin babbling about Rudyard Kipling, I’d say you’re significantly LESS prone to get the job.
Right here’s a play:
English Literature Occasion Planner, an Recommendation King play
Inside, banquet facility. Servers are making ready a buffet. A person carrying a tweed jacket sits smoking a pipe in an outdated leather-based chair studying The Depend of Monte Cristo. A server approaches.
SERVER: Hey boss, we bought the chafing dishes arrange, and the plates are stacked, however … the place are the tongs at?
The person within the tweed jacket places down the guide and rises, pipe in mouth, enraged.
ENGLISH LITERATURE EVENT PLANNER: STOP ENDING SENTENCES IN PREPOSITIONS. I’m at my wits’ finish.
WAITER: OK, I gained’t. However are you aware the place the tongs are at?
ENGLISH LITERATURE EVENT PLANNER shrugs, takes off his pants and does The Worm
I’m sort of kidding round, Adam. “Occasion planner” was on the record, nevertheless it was towards the underside. The most well-liked job for English literature majors is “instructor.”
The excellent news is that educating is likely one of the two professions the place you may put on a tweed jacket unironically (indie rock is the opposite, er, occupation). The unhealthy information is it’s a must to attempt to get telephone addicts who’re close to tripping on pharmaceutical-grade marijuana — er, college students — fascinated about BOOKS.
Go to graduate college for welding.